111 Mountain View St.,
 Weaverville, California
 (530) 623-2024 or 1-800-358-5251

Be an Ally to Gays & Lesbians

Straight Allies are important to GLBTQ -- gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning -- people.

What's in a Name?

• Gay men are attracted to other men. "Gay" can refer to both men and women.
• Lesbians are women who are attracted to other women.
• Bisexuals are attracted to both men and women.
• Transgender people challenge traditional ideas about gender.
• Transvestites are men who dress in women's clothing. They see themselves as men, not women. They may be straight or gay.
• Transsexuals are people who feel they are a different gender than their bodies -- a man in a woman's body, or a woman in a man's body. They may be straight or gay. Some have sex-change surgery. Others don't.

These categories aren't rigid. Someone who identifies as heterosexual may have same-sex fantasies. A gay man may have been married to a woman in the past. A straight woman may become sexually involved with another woman.

What Can Allies Do?

• Help GLBTQ people feel supported and included.
• Help others understand more about GLBTQ experiences.
• Support fairness and justice for everyone.
• Make the world a safer place.

How do allies do it? They learn about GLBTQ issues. They learn about themselves. They share their insights with others.

Want to be one? There are all kinds of things you can do.

How to Start

One of the best ways to be an ally is to learn about GLBTQ people's lives.

• Read books by or about GLBTQ people.
• Research and write an article or letter for your school paper or website.
• Attend a workshop about diversity or homophobia.
• Read poetry or stories with GLBTQ themes.
• Go to a GLBTQ Pride Day parade.

Ask Questions

Talk to your friends or family

• How do they feel about GLBTQ issues?
• What helps them accept others?
• What makes some people judgmental?

Ask GLBTQ people about their experiences

• What was coming out like?
• Who supports them and how?
• Have they been harassed or discriminated against?

Ask yourself some questions, too

• How comfortable are you with GLBTQ people?
• What are your assumptions? Do you hold any stereotypes?
• What things make it easy for you to be an ally?
• What things might make it hard?
• Are there any questions you'd like to have answered?

Often, hurtful actions against GLBTQ people are done by people who are confused about their own thoughts and feelings.

Speak Up
Think about the words you use

• Ask about "partners" rather than "boyfriends" or "girlfriends." This shows you accept both same-sex and opposite-sex couples.
• Learn to use the words gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered with comfort.
• Make GLBTQ issues part of your everyday conversation, just as you might talk about music, a class or political ideas.

Let people know you don't want to hear

• offensive slang
• anti-gay jokes
• stereotypical remarks
• put-downs of GLBTQ people

Speak out against anti-gay behavior

• Someone putting up posters or writing articles or graffiti.
• Someone playing homophobic music so loud that other people have to hear it.
• Someone harassing a person or group seen as GLBTQ.

Sometimes this behavior is illegal. Speaking up might mean reporting it to campus police or the administration.

Be a Friend

Treat your GLBTQ friends like your other friends

• Talk to them about the same things -- music, weekends, parties, parents, movies or studies.
• Share the same kinds of pastimes.
• Be physical (or not) just as you are with your other friends.

Acknowledge your GLBTQ friends' special concerns

• Ask them about the ways being gay affects their lives.
• Check in with them if there's been an anti-gay incident on campus or in the news.
• Ask if there's anything you can do to show your support.

Join with others

• Find out if the campus GLBTQ group offers special programs for allies.
• Check out community agencies and national organizations that are working to end prejudice and discrimination.

If someone asks you to keep a confidence -- about sex or anything else -- keep it. That's a good idea with all of your friends!

Answers for Allies

Here are two questions you might hear and some ways to answer them.

"Why are gay people so blatant?"

People usually don't ask this question about other groups. ("Why is he always wearing that team sweatshirt?" "Does she have to carry that guitar everywhere she goes?")

GLBTQ people want the freedom to be who they are -- just as an athlete or musician would. What critics call "blatant" they might call being honest, open and strong.

"Why do they need special attention?"

GLBTQ people and their allies don't feel they're asking for special attention. They believe they're taking steps to promote safety and justice for everyone.

Homophobia can result in serious crimes such as assault and murder. It can lead to harmful behaviors such as harassment or neglect.

What About Me?

Will people think you're gay if you "come out" as a GLBTQ ally?

They might. One great way to show support for GLBTQ people is to be OK if this happens.

Correct any misunderstandings without getting flustered or defensive. Then people will see that you're comfortable with yourself as well as with GLBTQ people.

To Learn More

• GLSEN (Gay-Lesbian-Straight Educators Network) - Educational issues & support for instructors.
• GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) - Activism to fight homophobia & support positive depictions of GLBTQ people in the media.
• PFLAG (Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians & Gays) - Support for families & advocacy on GLBTQ issues.

Visit Or Call Us - We Are Here For You!
Call: (530) 623-2024 or 1-800-358-5251

24-Hour Crisis Line
623-HELP

© 2001-2010 Human Response Network, Weaverville, California. All Rights Reserved.